Thoughts of a Kpopper noona/ahjumma

Hello, again!

I wondered long and hard if I should or shouldn't write something about this issue that keeps circling my head ever since I began my kpop journey.

I discovered the Korean music, kpop among them, over 18 years now and, at some point I became a noona kpopper (noona = older sister) heading straight to an ahjumma kpopper (ahjumma = older lady).

While I, personally, am not bothered by this aspect there have been people, of course, younger than me, asking me why I still like kpop at my age. Haven't I outgrown it yet?

Yet?

Is music something to outgrow?

Being a musician, I was always fully aware of the fact that a person changes their music tastes over the years and what yesterday seemed like an awful song, is today's favorite and vice versa. (will return to this later on or maybe make another post about it)

"Ok", came the next question, "but what about liking groups that have members younger to much younger than yourself?" 

What can I say? Refer to the ever-changing musical tastes (that aren't that ever-changing but let's suppose they are). I mean, what is most important for me, is the music. Only after that come the fan-like attitude and such.

Only if I'm interested in their music, will I pay attention to the members of a group.

"What if you'll end up becoming the fan of one or more members of said group?" came another question.

Well, now, this is something I cannot decide fully. Yes, by this age, I do have something of a preferred type of people, some that contain the features (both physical and mental) that attract me and, perhaps, an age I'm comfortable of considering, again, attractive. And that is, maybe, why I can be a bit more detached and objective about what and whom I like among the plethora of groups that swarm the kpop universe. 

Even so, there would be times where I get swayed and sucked into liking this or that group or member of said group a bit more than I know I should.

Because it's only normal for that to happen.

Reality kicks in again, soon and strong, and detachment rears it's head in astute protection. But with that reality kick something else appears. Softer, more diffused but, without a doubt, present. Questions and a smudge of regret fill for a few moments my head. "why was I not born later?" "why must I be older?" "even if I met them, nothing could happen, most of all because I'm older than they are. I wouldn't make an impact as to be remembered by them" (noona feels, as they say). "I could never exist in their universe. Then, why I am dreaming about this scenario?" (because, let's face it, everyone dreams, somewhere deep -or not that deep- inside that they'd make an impact in an idol's life, that they'd become at least acquaintances or be remembered by the idols somehow).

 And then, it all becomes clear, once again. This is nothing more than a product that is sold. Those groups and their members (leaving music aside) are images created especially with the purpose of capturing one's emotions and making them want more. It's how the industry works. Make a product so good that the buyer will think they absolutely need it in their life and they can't live without it. While this is all a very good strategy, there are huge flaws in it.

"What about discovering a person, among all those you like in those groups, that speaks out to you in a manner you didn't think possible? What if that person impresses you beyond expectations and you yearn to meet them?"

Oh, dear. There would be many, plausible scenarios. But, the truth is, I have no idea. I don't think I'd want to meet them (I did meet some kpop groups and it was an interesting experience. Maybe I'll talk about it in another post) because, you see, I created an image in my head and that's the one I'm crazy about. If I were to meet the real person, the persona in my head would be shattered to pieces and I'd be left without a dream, a safe haven to run to, so to say. And, of course, even if the real person were almost exactly like I imagined them to be, it'd still be something akin to pain for me because I know that nothing were to come of my meeting them other than me being one of the way too many fans. Or, who knows... Let's keep hope up.

Even so, with all this turmoil (?), it's something that's a big part of my life and that, for now, I don't want to give up. 

 
There are so many things I am tempted to write about concerning this subject.
What do you think? Should I continue the story of a noona (soon to be ajhumma) kpopper?
If you have any questions or recommendations, feel free to write to me and share your ideas with me.